Game of Thrones season 1 to 7 the Ultimate Recap

Game of Thrones season 1 to 7 the Ultimate Recap


Game of Thrones season 1 to 7 the ultimate recap Gam of Thrones Season 1 Robert Baratheon is king and he and his trophy wife Cersei travel up north to see old, buddy Ned Stark who loves to remind everyone in a very Bluff northern accent winter is coming Robert asked Ned if he wants to be hand of the king Ned doesn't want it, but he can't refuse Meanwhile, Cersei gets caught shagging her own brother. Jaime by Ned's youngest son Bran, who gets shoved out the window crippling but not killing him Ned's sad family joined Robert's messed-up family And they all head down south to King's Landing apart from Ned's bastard son. Jon Snow He joins the Nights Watch at the wall a massive structure used to keep the savages in the north far away from the slightly less savage people in the regular north Tyrion the dwarf brother of Jaime and Cersei Visits the wall leaves is accused of trying to murder Ned's son and sense it to a trial at the Eyrie by Ned's Sister-in-law who was a few sandwiches short of a picnic He chooses trial by combat and a most recalled bran fights on his behalf for cash. 
Game of Thrones season 1 to 7 the ultimate recap
He wins and Tyrion goes free because Meanwhile in a much warmer place across the Narrow Sea Daenerys Targaryen Who was the daughter of the previous king gets married off the Dothraki horselord Karl Drogo? She gets pregnant eats a heart and he's given three dragon eggs as a wedding gift Her brother is a dick about the whole thing So Karl go--pause a load of molten gold onto his head and kills him Later on Drogo gets mortally wounded Daenerys tries to save him with blood magic, but instead of resurrecting a hubby She hatches the dragon heads and gets three scaly pets for her troubles back in King's Landing Ned discovers that Cersei has been banging her brother Jaime for ages and Sadistic heir to the throne Joffrey along with less sadistic heir Tommen and not Robert's children after all This puts him in a pickle because his eldest daughter Sansa is betrothed to Mary the sadistic. Jerk Joffrey Robert gets killed by a pig whereupon Ned tell Cersei that he knows a sadistic jerk of a son isn't the true heir Cersei bribes the city guards. They put a net on trial sadistic. Jerk Joffrey brackets now King closed brackets orders his death Ned dies because it's the law that Sean Bean dies in everything in which he appears a Putt from sharp Game of Thrones season 2 Sean beans eldest son. Rob is upset about dad's death so declares war with the Lannisters Roberts brother Renly thinks he should be king so declares war on the Lannisters Robert's other brother Stannis thinks he should be king so declares war on Renly the Lannisters Rob stark religion MC Hammer and Christmas Stannis's ginger bit on the side Melisandre gives birth to a whisper of evil smoke who kills Renly but none of that really matters Because when Stannis attacks King's Landing later in the series Tyrion burns all his boats with magic fire and saves a city in the warmer place Daenerys crosses a desert and ends up in Qarth Where the city posh shows and Richard O'Brien impersonators trying to steal her dragons It doesn't end well, and she leaves beyond the wall Jon Snow pretends to betray the Nights Watch and starts shagging a girl called Ygritte who constantly points out in a sexy northern accent that It's because the wild folk in the north want to all live in the south because they're terrified of the icy Zombie creatures called white walkers who appear at the end of the season to terrorize a fat boy called Sam in King's Landing Cersei finds a new wife for jerk King Joffrey Margaery whose grandma is Diana Rigg Sean beans youngest daughter Arya has escaped the city with one of Roberts illegitimate kids and Sansa is held as a hostage Meanwhile, Sean beans son robbers captured Circe's lover brother combo Jaime in battle But his own mum frees the Kingslayer in exchange for her daughters and sends imposing man Lady Brienne to guard him Oh mom. Tell me this isn't true Finally former ward have Sean Bean Theon Greyjoy who has a fully working penis at this point Destroys Sean beans house and pretends to kill his two sons one of whom was crippled by Jaime Lannister Remember that and is now carried around by simpleton who can only say the word? Game of Thrones season 3 Robb Stark wins a load of battles But because he disses Walder Frey by not marrying his daughter He his mother his hot new wife his unborn child. And most of his men are killed at the red wedding. It's pretty shocking This is doubly Heartbreaking because Arya Stark I know her and likely travelling companion the Hound who was a dim view on people who name their sword Can't a literally minutes away from being reunited with them staying with weddings back in King's Landing Tyrion is forced to marreese on sir who is not keen sir see is told to marry Loras Tyrell who is not so secretly gay and Conniving political Wrangler Littlefinger decides to marry Sean Bean sister-in-law who is insane in the hotter place? 

Game of Thrones 

Daenerys buys an army of eunuchs by tricking their master and then using a dragon to roast him alive She then commands these unsullied to kill all the slave owners in the city she joins forces with a band of mercenaries called the second sons whose leader fancies her and Starts to rule marine with a longtime friend Jorah Mormont who fancies her and retired Knights a Barristan Selmy He probably fancies her but he's old enough to be her dad elsewhere Jaime Lannister loses a hand Theon Greyjoy loses a penis but gains a master in the form of Roose Bolton's bonkers bastard Ramsay snow and gets a new name Reek for his troubles Ramsay gets to become a proper Bolton and helps dad Take over the north a little further north still Jon Snow climbs the wall with some wildlings But when he's asked to prove his loyalty to them by killing a man He runs away and Ygritte shoots him with a few arrows but definitely doesn't kill him on purpose because she still loves him Game of Thrones Season 4 the season kicks off with jerk King Joffrey getting married to Margaery Although he's poisoned at his own wedding. And because Sansa flees King's Landing with Littlefinger suspicion Falls to a unwilling husband Tyrion There's a trial and Tyrion chooses his fate to be decided by combat again It's just so happens that sex pest Prince Oberyn of Dorne is in town looking for revenge for the murder of his sister He agrees to fight ontarians behalf because his opponent is Gregor Clegane the man who killed his sibling the fight Doesn't end well for either of them, but Jamie now returned to King's Landing frees Tyrion anyway On his way out Tyrion strangles his former lover Shae because she's been shagging his father Who he murders with a crossbow while he sat on the Kazi over in the warm place? Daenerys is struggling to rule slavers Baker's head Dragons keep barbecuing people which tends to upset the locals and Jorah her best mate turns out to be a spy since from King's Landing to keep an eye on her so she banishes him and locks her dragons in a cave in The north Littlefinger smuggle Sansa to the Eyrie where he marries Ned's sister-in-law to become Lord of the Vale He then murders Ned sister-in-law after trying it on with Sansa. Hmm. Finally Arya and the Hound decides It part ways after Brienne shows up and has a massive fight with Clegane jr. And leaves him for dead meanwhile the final stark well I say final Rickon doesn't really count bran Continues his journey of much tedium to the far north where he finds a magic tree inclines inside it with his equally tedious traveling companions Mirror and Jojen finally there's a massive battle as the army of wildlings tried to take the wall but ultimately fail in an epic fight that sees Jon and Ygritte reunited before she's killed by a child and he realizes Finally that he genuinely loves her after the Battle of Jon walks out to assassinate the leader of the wildlings Mance Rayder But before he gets a chance Stannis Baratheon turns out with an army he bought by taking a loan out from the bank Game of Thrones Season five tiny product of incest. 
Game of Thrones season 1 to 7 the ultimate recap
Tommen is now king and lovely Marjorie's due to marry him however there's a group of religious nut bars in King's Landing and they imprisoned Cersei for incest Loras Tyrell for bumming and Margaery for lying about Loras and being too pretty Cersei eventually goes free, but has to walk back to the red Keep in the nude, but when she arrives he's greeted by zombie Gregor Clegane, so that's nice Meanwhile, brother Jaime travels to Dorne with Bronn to rescue his daughter Marcella, but despite agreeing her release She's killed by the former lover of sex pest Prince Oberyn Are you keeping up in the hot place having smuggled out of King's Landing Tyrion and spymaster Very's hooker with Daenerys to join her course She's struggling with a rebellion of slave masters which claims the life of sir Barristan. So eventually she accepts their help So Jorah wants to be Daenerys his friend again So he becomes a gladiator like Russell Crowe fights in a tournament to win her trust and then foils an assassination attempt on our life When shit gets really serious at the tournament one of Daenerys his dragons flies in to rescue her and she then rides him to relative safety miles away in the middle of a rampaging Dothraki horde in the north Littlefinger gives Sansa to Ramsay Bolton who takes her as a bride then takes her against her will on the wedding night Theon helps her to escape and the two jump off the wall of Winterfell together in other stark news Arya heads to Braavos to join the faceless men who are a bunch of assassins She trains well, but breaks the rules by killing old Enemy Meryn Trant and he's blinded for her troubles Stannis tries to march south to reclaim his kingdom but loses most of his army in a blizzard And despite burning his daughter a life for good luck is eventually defeated and murdered by Brienne who finds him wounded in the woods in The far north Jon Snow cause a truce with the wildlings and agrees to let them live on the Posche side of the wall But most of them are attacked and killed at a village called hardhome by the White Walkers the Nights Watch Aren't too keen on Jon's love for the wild folk and they stab him to death at the end of the season or do they? Game of Thrones Season 6 Sansa and Theon escape Winterfell with a little help from Sansa heads to Castle black where she emotionally reunites with bastard brother John before helping him to raise an army to fight bastard husband Ramsay in the fittingly titled Battle of the bastards wait isn't John Snow dead Well, he was but Melisandre resurrects him because John is way too pretty to die Anyway during the Battle of the bastards Ramsay kills his prisoner Rickon Stark Tormund bites a man's ear off and John eventually wins with a little unexpected help from the Knights of the Vale Ramsay has his face eaten off and stark rule Winterfell again in Braavos Arya gets her sight back fails to murder an actor and finally kills off her a longtime tormentor the wife She returns to Westeros serves Walder Frey his sons in a pie and murders him delicious In other good news Ferrari or the Hound is back and his wits as as sharp as his axe.
 Yeah. Sure dying, you know they're Over in the east Daenerys gets captured by the Dothraki Murders all the carl's and their own clothes and takes the army of horse Lords for herself She gets back to marine just in time to defeat the slavers and raise a fleet big enough to sail to Westeros How does she get so many ships Yara and Theon Greyjoy after being chased off by mad? Uncle Euron have made an alliance with her in King's Landing Cersei tries to outsmart the high Sparrow fails And so just blows him up and a bunch of other major characters with a shitload of wildfire Tommen gets sad about the death of his wife Margaery and throws himself out of the red cape Tower but this rather upsets the queen of thorns who allies with dawn against the Lannisters over the death of her granddaughter meanwhile Jamie spends a few episodes liberating Riverrun from the blackfish with Bronn keeping him company with some solid one-liners Better endings than any office in the Lannister army That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the unsullied army Sam and Gilly have the most Awkward dinner party ever with Daddy Tarly before Sam steals the family sword and heads off to the local library, finally north of the wall Bran learns to see into the past present and future by messing about with an old tree He learns that Jon Snow is actually the son of Ned Stark's sister and the mad Kings son And he finally discovers why Hodor is called Hodor Yes, hold or means hold the door Which is what Mira shouts is the gentle giant Sacrifices himself to allow her and brand to escape an attack from the night king in a scene I could barely watch through all the tears Game of Thrones Season seven Daenerys arrives in Westeros finally and breaks into her old family home at Dragonstone and Over at the twins Arya finally gets her revenge on House Frey for their antics at the red wedding and poisons them Well what she poisons all of them when people ask you what happened here Tells me the North remembers Tell them winter came for house free Dany then sends her allies the Dornish and the Greyjoy's to attack King's Landing, but their fleet is sunk by mad Uncle yer on the sexy pirate who captures Yara and Ilario sand and one of her daughters kills the other - Theon runs away Dany sends grey worm to take Casterly Rock, but the Lannisters are busy sucking Highgarden Murdering the pensioner who lives there and stealing all her valuables by this point. The mother of dragons is really fucked off So she rides her dragon drogon to burn up all the Lannisters on the gold road Jaime and Bronn managed to get the gold back to King's Landing Barely escaping with their lives and Daenerys roasts the hell out of randyll Tarly and his son dick on Jack Aris In King's Landing Euron presents ilaria and her daughter as prisoners in exchange for a marriage promise from Cersei Jaime does not approve. Does she like it gentle? Cersei poisons hilarious daughter and makes her watch then pays off her debt to the iron bank like a reckless student with a funkopop Addiction she then borrows more cash to pay for her mercenary army. Oh and she's pregnant again, probably which is nice Jaime is the daddy the things they do for love Jon Snow goes to visit Dany on Dragonstone but refuses to bend the knee to her Danny lets her mine for dragonglass To kill the White Walkers and the pair slowly get cozy wasn't the word I was thinking of what Danny is chuffed with a military victory, but Tyrion and Jon convince her to offer a truce with Cersei So they can fight the massive army of the undead coming down from the north Trouble is Cersei won't believe them without proof So Jon tormented Jorah freshly cured from his greyscale by Sam Tarly the hound beric Dondarrion Thoris of mere MC Hammer maryberry Snoop Dogg and Gendry he's back by the way all head up north to try and kidnap a zombie They grab a white baguette up, but everything goes a bit tits up But most of them end up marooned in the middle of a frozen lake while Gendry goes running back for help He makes it to the wall in record time Davos sends a raven to Daenerys She flies up to rescue them the night king kills one of her dragons and promptly resurrects it to fight for his army Uncle Benjen shows up randomly and dies all in the space of about five minutes At the end of the season the night king uses the undead versary and the dragon to smash a gap in the wall and march his army straight through Well all this is happening up north loads of people reunite in King's Landing bran makes a few cock talks Come on, you can suck his magic cock later and all the main players meet in the dragon pit to discuss a truce Cersei doesn't agree Tyrion talks around she does agree then reveals. She doesn't agree and was lying. Anyway, the monsters kill each other while they battle in the north We take back the lands that belong to us and then what? And then we rule Jaime doesn't like her lying So he leaves to fight the army of the Dead without her in Winterfell bran arrives home and starts being all Moody and emo Ari rides home too after a brief chat with ed sheeran hot pie and new Miriah and she reunites with Sansa Bran, just doesn't seem bothered You came home Littlefinger tries to drive a wedge between the stark sisters But the pair secretly plot against Littlefinger and trick him into showing up at a trial at the gray hall the trials for him He's guilty of being a scheming bastard and Arya execute him Finally after clearing up masses of shit in the Citadel and curing séjour of his greyscale Sam leaves with Gillian little Sam But not before discovering a rather interesting fact about Jon Snow His parents Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark were actually married which makes Jon Snow a legit Targaryen heir to the Iron Throne and nephew to Daenerys. Oh, well, at least he didn't start having sex with his auntie Oh dear and now you're all caught up on Game of Thrones and ready for season 8, he's never been a bastard He's the heir to the Iron Throne

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